Not everyone can be beautiful but anyone can be obscene Saturday, Feb 23 2008 

That’s my way of life. Well on with the show

Q:”How do you make stews more flavorful?” A: The main way is with various herbs (thyme and oregano for beef and pork, rosemary and marjoram for chicken), spices (pepper, cumin, chili, coriander, whatever), and aromatic vegetables (onion, garlic, carrots, celery, shallots, leeks) just like anything else. But there are a few “tricks” you can utilize. The first is to saute your onions/garlics/shallots and meat first in the pot and then deglaze with some alcohol, dry red wine in particular for red meat and possibly white for white meat (red or white doesn’t really matter either way it’s just a color thing). This adds a delicate and rich flavor. If you don’t know what deglazing is, you just put some wine into a heated pan and scrape the bits up, the particles of carcinogenic flavor rise up off the pan from the acids of the warm alcohol or something like that. You can’t deglaze a non-stick pan (everything I use is steel) so don’t use one. A second trick is to use broth instead of stock or plain water for your liquid. This makes a huge difference in flavor (and also means there’s less you need to add, which means there’s less you need to do) but also adds an exponential amount of sodium. For the most part I’m not sure that adding a box of salt into stew would make it too salty so that’s just a health concern. Adding to this second one, the third trick is to use some kind of tomato based vegetable juice for additional liquid. Tomato juice and wine and broth combined might be too rich (and salty) for some people’s tastes but any of them will deceive the palettes of most people not used to the finest fare. Alternately just having tomatoes in the stew can have a similar effect but most tomato based vegetable juices are also made with a variety of aromatic vegetables for even more flavor.

I didn’t mention much about fish stew… So I’ll give you a simple recipe. White fish (fileted of course) +onions sauted +deglazed with white wine +topped with coconut milk +grated or powdered ginger +vegetable broth +nutmeg +thyme garnished with parsley= fish stew. If you like things a bit spicy you can just toss some curry powder in there to make curried fish stew.

And writing about fish stew, reminds me that I’ve said nothing of vegetarian fare. Just use potatoes and whatever other vegetables you like in the above recipe. I like to serve curry over rice myself, but you could use noodles. I recommend cooking noodles separately and then adding them to the stew unless you have a gigantic pot and lots of liquid. If you have and can stomach “extra firm” tofu you can use that instead of meat in a stew of course but it really doesn’t need that long to cook so I’d say you should add it after the vegetables have softened a bit. Same with “seitan” maybe, I’ve never used seitan myself.

Well earlier I witnessed some kids throwing a cat into some bushes from my window. I clapped my hands together, said “rest in peace” and went on with my business. I guess that says a lot about the world. Actually I came back later and saw the kids do it again so I guess the cat is still alive. There’s no way that kids who do things like that will become respectable adults. Just like there’s no way that someone who would merely watch in silence is a respectable adult. And thus my title. I do not consider myself beautiful in any measure. But my entire life is obscene.

Please continue to watch over me and I’ll love you with my whip if not my heart.

Run for the ass Saturday, Feb 23 2008 

I had occasion to do some business with a marathon runner. I did not realize that she was one at the time. In fact she seemed a tad frumpy the first time I met her, large breasts, a bit of a chubby face, flabby arms. But today she was wearing pants that were much more flattering, somewhat tight. And that was some ass. That was a runner’s ass.

Now in my opinion, swimmers have the nicest bodies, cyclists have the firmest butts and legs, dancers have the best legs, gymnasts the best arms, singers give the best oral sex, and runners have the best asses. This information might come in handy sometime. Like if you’re looking to improve your own self.

Well that’s all neither here nor there. It has been a year now since I opened a unique investigation. I might have been listening to Deep Purple’s “smoke on the water” at that time as I am now. Well to be honest no one really listens to that song so much as they hear it play. A lot of people have heard it, but do you know the words? Most people remember the guitar riff though. Hell even I could play it until the guitar I was using had it’s lowest chord give out.

So the investigation. She doesn’t know it but this great assed marathon runner just might be the missing link. Hell I didn’t know it until today. I had given up on ever solving that one to be honest with you. More because I was afraid to keep pursuing it on the angle I was going on than anything else. But I have to take this one carefully. I don’t want to risk my present enterprise just to solve a puzzle you know? It’s a difficult thing.

Well that’s all I had to say for now. I’ll leave you with something to ponder though: Just what is wrong with one woman admiring the body, or an aspect of the body, of another woman?