In the absence of anything else, and with some extremely mellow trance music which is entirely out of character for my neighborhood blaring in through the window from somewhere down the street, I got to thinking a bit about Heineken beer again.
That is to say I was thinking about why it’s so bad. Exactly why it’s popular remains a mystery to me, however since I myself drank a six pack even though it was among the worst beer I’ve ever had I can testify to the fact that alcohol tasting bad never stopped anybody who was in the mood from drinking it. Well basically what it comes down to is how awful it smells. This is something that I can’t let go, Heineken has about as appetizing a bouquet as fermented fish does. The taste isn’t great either but it’s not like it tastes rancid even though it smells that way.
I spent the past week or whatever drinking really cheap beer. Almost unbelievably cheap. In fact I would be embarrassed to identify some of the beers I was drinking. But they were all better than Heineken simply because they didn’t have its skunky stink.
And so I proclaim: the most important thing for beer is to not smell terrible. After that it needs to not taste terrible but for me the taste is less important than the smell because I find that beer always tastes bad at best anyway.
So saying I was actually drinking some unbelievably cheap (1 euro for a 750ml bottle) mango schnapps that I picked out while I was about. I personally always have to be careful when drinking schnapps not to drink too much of it just because it’s (the stuff I buy) so weak that I don’t feel it. I didn’t do the greatest job of that today. Indeed.
You know mango is kind of an out of place flavor for alcohol, and frankly to me the stuff I bought tastes almost indistinguishable from peach schnapps. I suppose that it’s not impossible that the stuff was on sale because it is in fact mislabeled, but I rather suspect lame brewing practices. Actually, do they even really brew that kind of stuff? Disgustingly cheap schnapps that is. I kind of got the impression that they just tossed a bunch of stuff into mixers and mango schnapps came out. Oh well. Yeah I think a day of drinking is catching up with me.
So remember kids, don’t drink alcohol: at best you’ll turn out like me.
June 1, 2008 at 2:05 am |
Wow, I totally agree. I did a search for “Heineken” and “bad” and came across your blog.
Heineken tastes terrible. It smells bad. Why would anybody like this beer?
Say what you want about any “cheap” beer — Miller Lite, Bud, Corona, and even some stronger ones like Sam Adams and its bitter taste, NONE have the awful taste of Heineken.
Weird.