Answering questions no one cares about Monday, Jun 30 2008

I can not figure out how to solve x/4+1/2=3, it is just shameful. X is apparently 10, certainly 10/4+1/2=3 but I can’t figure out why. I spent an hour shifting numbers around to no avail, I pulled out 3 different books on algebra and got no help. Perhaps this is the point when my brain defect shows itself as I have had a lifelong problem with division that apparently extends to fractions (which are of course essentially division operations). I wish that someone had come up with different ways to do math before I started trying to master it. I think such a task is beyond me. I would speculate that the reason math is so bad is because mathematicians are wrapped up in trying to solve outstanding problems using math as it is now (like P vs NP) rather than coming up with new ways to do math. Maybe I’m wrong about that, maybe solving P vs NP is a way of developing new math. Well whatever. {edit: I dreamed about the equation while I slept and managed to come up with an answer, I didn’t know you could use the addition property of equality with fractions. Actually I still don’t know that you can but it worked and that’s all that matters. Full details of the solution here}

Actually what I really wanted to address today is whether or not Lewis is worse than Inspector Morse. I would have to say that they’re about equal. On a character basis Morse himself was more amusing than Lewis but strictly on a show basis Lewis has various advantages going for it. Mostly that it is more recent making it easier to relate to and was planned originally for television. There were quite a few episodes of Morse that were not adapted from a novel but that is not quite the same thing now is it? Although the feeling of Lewis is not as great as that of Morse that isn’t something one can quantify. Perhaps if I say that Morse strikes me as a traditional english police procedural whereas Lewis strikes me as “just another procedural” that might as well be from or in any country. So saying, Morse always rubbed me the wrong way. Lewis is a bit more of an everyman I think. Unfortunately his subordinate Hathaway is somewhat in the vein of Morse. Maybe.

To be completely honest it has been years since I have watched any Inspector Morse episodes because I was never much of a fan. And nobody cares about this anyway.

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When the hits stop coming Sunday, Jun 29 2008

Well in the midst of nothing, such as riding the bus or watching football, I read the novel The Treatment by Mo Hayder, which is the third book of hers that I’ve read but apparently the second book of hers that was released. In a sense it establishes a series for Jack Caffery the protagonist from her first novel Birdman since he once again features. Like her other works I wouldn’t recommend this to anyone I know, there is probably plenty there for people as fucked up as me or the perverts out there though. Which raises the age old question of whether the work is admonishing, discouraging, or encouraging. The main theme of this work is “paedophilia” (sic, wordpress prefers pedophilia) as opposed to, let’s say the target of the first book was a serial killer. This book was set up quite a bit by Jack Caffery’s back story in the first book, he joined the police in the hopes of finding his brother, or his corpse, who disappeared when he was a child (brother was 9). He always suspected his old polish  neighbor “Penderecki” but he could never pin him down for it. Upon joining the police he found out the guy had old pedo jackets (arrests) and that only convinced him the more that the guy did it. But no proof and so our tortured fucked up fairytale hero goes on.

So when a couple is found bound up in their home and their son is missing the case hits Caffery close to home. Other themes involve the strange relationship he has with his girlfriend as a result of the fallout from the Birdman case. There was pretty much only one major new character, Caffery’s new boss “Danni” a self-described “old dyke”. And other than Jack and his Lady only minor characters; the medical examiner, the head secretary, a crime scene investigator, a minor detective, make a return.

Overall the story flows in an interesting manner and Hayder remains as seemingly inventive with her criminals and their perversions as ever, doubtless to the shocked horror of readers. I felt like even though the crimes in this book are worse on the whole than in Birdman, though not Tokyo/devil of nanking, the intensity level is a lot lower. I had heard that Birdman was criticized for its intensity so that probably has something to do with it. Unfortunately the result is a decreased focus on the theoretical plot of the story as relates to the crime.

Something that struck me is that even though the book was written in a way that could have yielded multiple outcomes which was good because it created suspense and drama, the way that the conclusion was reached seemed out of sync with the story as well as somewhat anti-climatic. I am not interested in going back and checking the story again but when I got to the end it seemed like things didn’t quite add up. I will concede that this impression could have resulted from the fragmented way I read the work, stopping randomly and picking up again when I had the chance. But in particular it seemed like the acts of the person who ultimately turned out to be the perpetrator did not add up. Then again he (it’s always a he in Hayder’s work it seems) was supposed to be crazy but that isn’t quite good enough for me. He was crazy but in a methodical and ritualistic sort of way, and the camera and its pictures didn’t add up.

The one thing I would laud Hayder for is how poorly the investigations are carried out. You always have someone dropping the ball or intentionally fucking things up through complacency or oversight and if it weren’t for that things could have been figured out a lot faster. On the other hand she has set up a pattern whereby the suspects are right under the noses, in this book literally, of the detectives and the solutions and clues that should lead them to a solution are just missed. I am not an expert on police procedure but from what I do know things very rarely fall into place as neatly as an episode of Law & Order or Murder, She Wrote where something just occurs to someone or some piece of evidence or a witness just pops out. Although in this book compared to birdman things ended out being rather contrived as what was going on for Jack outside the case ended out leading him to the solution of it. So, failing the impossible genius of a drug addled Sherlock Holmes (though the detectives always drinking might tie-in with that) investigators are left with only their resource advantages (a city, region, or country against a criminal entity) and methodical perseverance to solve cases.

I would make a footnote that the thing about Hayder’s works is that if she didn’t write repeat offenders then the crimes likely would not be solved as the perpetrators end out somewhat caught in the act in both works. Of course the thing about sexually motivated criminals is that they can’t stop, and similarly without that kind of drive people wouldn’t commit crimes like that anyway. I am merely pointing it out as something to consider because on the whole people usually “get away” with crimes.

I’m talking about averaging all crimes there, murder is something that people get apprehended for more often than other crimes to be sure. Especially now that forensic technology has become so comprehensive. Speaking of which I remember a certain controversy in england recently, earlier in the year perhaps, when either fingerprints or DNA were collected for some sort of purpose on a large scale, perhaps in public school or a region, and after that purpose the prime minister, who is a creep in the shed if ever I saw one, refused to clear this information from data bases. I have no idea what has happened since then, whether now all UKers are going to be forced to submit to identification programs or whether the initiative has been abandoned. But it is a pretty scary thing what governments can do to people now, what can happen with a little data…

By the way the argument is that if you don’t commit crimes or have nothing to hide then there isn’t a problem with being identified. The problem with that is that everyone DOES commit crimes and have things to hide and wants to keep it that way. I’m sure there isn’t a single person on the planet that hasn’t committed a crime, it might be excessively petty but it’s there. Or other than that, do you really want people listening to you being an idiot on the phone? To see you taking a shit? Just think about that for a minute? I suppose that in a generation everyone would get used to it but these are ideas that are hard to swallow for me.

I guess I would sum up the current political situation in the world is that governments are now committing acts upon their own citizens which have previously been inflicted on them only by enemies. Like what the chinese government does to its own people, like the british and american governments running over the liberties of their citizens under the premise of controlling the spread of terrorism. Don’t get me started on what’s going on in the french government now. A lot of stuff goes back to what the nazis were doing. You hear people saying that less and less now, I guess I can’t blame people who weren’t born 60 years ago for not knowing what it was like but at what point did things which were horribly bad ideas become good policy? Maybe I don’t want to know the answer to that.

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The triumph of the proletariat Thursday, Jun 26 2008

Not that anyone cares but having written about it a few times I decided that I might as well mention that the business with my math test was finally resolved. I was allowed to have my grade on the test but they were very nasty about it and docked me 3 points for petty errors so I ended out with a 97 instead of a 100. Well whatever. I really stopped fucking caring after enough time passed.

That gets to be the way of it with bloated bureaucracies, apathy sets in eventually. The groups where you’ll find average people caring the most about what’s going on are the most chaotic and least organized. The best example would probably be a group of friends. If someone actually is your friend you are interested in their life and care about their problems, and likewise they will feel the same way if they view you as a friend. And that’s about the way the relationship goes. You aren’t forced to fill out paper work, provide 3 forms of ID, and subjected to sanctions in the case of a factual error. On the other hand what people care the least about would have to be the political systems in peaceful democratic countries. Especially ones where everyone (over a certain age, which is bureaucracy right there, why shouldn’t a 5 year old get a say in who will be president? at least the votes of legal minors should be provisional) gets to vote. Most people don’t bother to vote, and even among those who do vote you will be hard pressed to find people who actually know what’s going on or would list politics as the major concern of their life. Maybe people have faith in these systems and that’s part of it, I don’t know, but it really is a bad joke.

I guess today’s moral is to not cave in to bureaucracies even though you’re forced to deal with them, and that you should vote and follow political issues.

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Even the people that you never think about dying have to die sometime Monday, Jun 23 2008

So George Carlin is dead. I can literally say that I never once in my life considered his death. So I hate to start doing so now after all this time but seeing as he is dead it’s kind of hard to avoid when I’m talking about it.

I really don’t have a lot to say about George Carlin, he was a comedian, I thought he was funny about as often as I thought he wasn’t, I found him intelligent, and in that vein I could always see his point whether I agreed with it or not. As far as american comedians go he really opened the door for a lot of other guys (I’ve never heard a female comedian mention him as a big influence, which doesn’t mean he didn’t influence any of course) and probably closed it for just as many others if you think about it for a minute. Yeah George, right until the end you have us thinking about it for a minute.

I never saw him perform in person and I guess that I do regret that. I actually had considered doing so on various occasions and now that I think about it as recently as two months ago I passed on getting tickets to see him but money was tight and I didn’t have anyone to go with and anticipated trouble getting there and back. Since it wasn’t exactly the perfect opportunity it wasn’t very difficult for me to pass on it because I remember distinctly thinking that there would always be another chance to see him perform. But it turns out there wasn’t.

And that’s life kids. You never really know when it’ll be the last time or the first time when it comes down to it, try as you might to predict things. I remember saying here last year that if you let anything (rather, anyone) go you never know if you’re going to see it (them) again and this just goes to show the meaning of that. But at the same time I don’t think it’s worth doing anything just because you might not get the chance again.

Now personally as far as iconic american celebrities “that have been around forever” go I would say that Johnny Cash was the first one to go that I never thought about, Marlon Brando followed relatively soon after but you’d look at that guy through the 90s and just think “when”. Brando is the first one to come to mind when you consider who the biggest one to go this decade is but that’s trivial. I wouldn’t be surprised if these 7x year old people who never took care of themselves start dropping like flies though. Clint Eastwood is someone I think about dying, Willie Nelson, Elizabeth Taylor (on that note I didn’t realize Liz Claiborne was already dead), B.B. King, Jack Nicholson… Well Taylor fell out of the limelight a long time ago and Eastwood has really curbed his acting duties back (if you saw “blood work” you might thank god for that) but it’s hard to imagine those guys not putting anything out anymore let alone dying.

But it will happen someday, they’ll die, I’ll die, you’ll die. Who knows who will go first (king, eastwood, nicholson, taylor, me, you, nelson) or last (I’d bet money on Nelson) but it doesn’t matter. Just enjoy them and yourselves while you still can, and the older you’d get the more I’d say you should focus on what you want to do rather than what you need to do. Try to leave hard work and misery in your youth and find things that interest and bring you joy by the time you’re silver.

Well anyway here’s to you George, as many drugs as you purportedly did maybe it’s a miracle you made it this far.

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Rational numbers are what separates us from the animals Sunday, Jun 22 2008

That was just a little thought I had the other day. I was recently exposed to the theory that even though there is some possibility of life on other planets there is also a possibility that nothing else like humans exists anywhere, even on earth. By that intelligence is not necessarily meant, other animals are able to solve problems, have societies, and communicate and if that isn’t intelligence… However other animals seem to lack something that humans have which is quite possibly imagination. Normally people don’t put much into imagination but giving it a moment of thought it occurred to me that without it we would just be monkeys.

Using my title as an example, a rational number is basically a fraction like 1/2. And of course fractions are basically division problems. Sticking with 1/2, if you divide one pie by 2 you get half a pie. That is a rational line of thought and thus 1/2 is a rational number. On the other hand if you think about it, each half of a pie is a distinct thing unto itself, you could almost think of each piece of a pie as a pie or just as a piece rather than say 1/8 of a pie (that’s a stingy sized piece for most pies I say). And if I understand correctly that’s the way that other animals would look at it. They don’t have the ability to rationalize that one piece of pie sitting there is the same thing as the piece of pie sitting over here, all they know is that it’s food and they probably want to eat it. Actually they probably know other things about it that we don’t like subtler scents that escape the human nostrils.

OK so this has turned into something that doesn’t make any sense. But my point is that humans have come up with all kinds of things that aren’t necessarily real and that has allowed them to come up with things that are. Other animals appear to lack this ability to imagine, to rationalize, to make expansive plans. If they had it, then they would be able to fully communicate with us, they would be able to write, they would be able to do math.

I suppose there are a lot of people who would just as soon not do math, and there is a case to be made for the way of nature being ideal compared to the perversions of humanity. You don’t get necrophiliac serial-killer lions after all. But we humans are what we are and there possibly has never been anything similar that came before us, and when we die out there might not be anything else like us that will follow.

Of course in writing this I’m saying nothing of god but that’s because god says nothing about it to me. Perhaps the christians and jews are right and moses was given the 10 commandments by god whenever that was and to god that was supposed to be be good enough for all of us plus or minus the gospels and so on (I don’t really know how all that stuff works and couldn’t care less). Same with allah and muhammad, to an omnipotent being perhaps 2-4,000 years is the blink of an eye and to one who is omnipresent all thoughts and actions are carefully timed and orchestrated. Or *gasp perhaps god fed people a bunch of bs or the people who heard god didn’t understand and made things up. Not to mention other people who just lied to serve their own agendas and perversions. I am reminded of a thought I once had that perhaps humans are made in god’s own image in the sense that god is an aberration and so are humans. We’re god’s mistake and god is the universe’s or something like that. It would explain a lot.

Well whatever kids. I guess my point is to appreciate things like math and books because they’re what we have that maybe nothing else does. I met someone the other day who didn’t think they’d ever read an entire book. People like that are out there, it’s just not important to them, they don’t make anything of it, they don’t have the ability to grasp it. I honestly don’t know whether that’s a shame or not, whether this person had missed out on anything or not. After all I’ve read thousands of books but perhaps I missed out on thousands of hours of other activities as a result. Certainly it’s hard to imagine that I gained any unique knowledge by reading the likes of Mo Hayder’s “Birdman” that either benefits or affords me a special advantage over anyone else. If anything I think it just sparked all kinds of depressive thoughts. So whatever. I guess I don’t have a point. It gets hard after you reach a certain… let’s call it a “state” to separate things out and be concise. Possibly everything is related after all. Or is that probably? Whichever one works for you.

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For the beating of a heart is like a bird fluttering around a cage Saturday, Jun 21 2008

Following up on books by British author Mo Hayder, who really strikes me as one of the most English authors I have read (in the way that Stephen King is one of the most american authors you might read), after reading her book “The Devil of Nanking” (that’s the american edition title, apparently the original title is “Tokyo”) I decided to read her novel “Birdman” which was her first work.

Birdman is pretty interesting. The best description the plot would give away almost the entire story but it would not be enough to describe the humanity, honesty, and perversion that the work encompasses. However while I felt like “tokyo” had a certain validity that transcended the work which I frankly was not impressed by, even though I consider Birdman better as a novel I can not say the same thing. This is a book that doesn’t do the world any favors. Simply put it’s about one of the most realistic and human police investigators I can recall reading trying to solve a serial killer case.

The book is pretty graphic and inventive, probably more so than most actual serial killers are. And in that sense you have to ask yourself whether it crosses the line between fiction emulating life into fiction which the living might emulate. But as I have stated before I think people have the right to put out whatever sort of stories they want.

Back to the protagonist, Jack Caffery, he even has a real name; when I say he is realistic I mean that he doesn’t exhibit super human powers of deduction, including inhuman feats of memory, concentration, and intellect or always miraculously being on the right track like most fictional detectives. To be fair if you watch an hour long  police procedural one could assume that we are only being shown the key moments of the investigation, most of which being relevant to solving the case and making an arrest, because of time constraints. I suppose one could argue that his ability to not be notably effected because of alcohol consumption is over the top but that’s more of a writer flaw than a character element flaw.

As a total side note there’s a moment in the book that reminds me of an impression I have sometimes had about a certain type of english person. That certain type would be the stereotypical haughty upper-class which the royal family would exemplify. And the impression would be that as long as you are civil about things and of an appropriate social rank it would be OK to just stab someone through the heart. The character Veronica in this book, who is very easy to hate, gives you this kind of impression. Perhaps Hayder herself hates that type and those who act that way as well which is why Veronica ends out being the way she is.

Unfortunately the book seems to degrade as it continues on and certain elements are not thought through and very self-serving. One could speculate that the characters, especially Caffery, are only destroying themselves intentionally.

I would once again not recommend this book to anyone but the most hardened, blighted, and perverse fans of thrillers and crime fiction. Again there is not necessarily a lot of mystery in this book though there is a lot of drama. The book defies expectations and that’s notable. On the other hand if the result is always unexpected then that become an expected result into itself.

Which reminds me of M. Night Shyamalan whose feature vague twist endings. I saw online an american preview for his new movie “the happening” and it draws attention to being his first R rated movie as though that is some kind of selling point. I mean what did he finally include some nudity and cussing or something? Who the fuck cares about this guy? He sucks, his work sucks, the actors he casts suck (mark wahlberg is in this new movie), and he keeps putting giant pieces of steaming shit out because 2 of his 8 movies (1/4) have been big successes. bleh. If he’s the prolific director of his generation then that could be it for film. Then again I’m not opposed to that, movies have always been approximations of fine novels anyway.

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The vainglorious return of Q and A Saturday, Jun 21 2008

I haven’t done this in a while. I’ve never been sure just how popular it is but people hopefully find some of the things they’re looking for here.

Q: “can you get a cake made without animal byproducts?” A: probably not. If it isn’t one thing, milk and eggs, it would be another, sugar refined using cow bones, and even if it’s not that the chances that one of the ingredients in the cake was fertilized with manure is high. I think manure is a point worth bringing up because I’ve never heard anyone complaining about its usage before. Probably because the people who know anything about manure don’t give a shit (hah) about the exploitation of animals. So let me break it down for you animal activists who have never been on a farm. Manure of course is livestock feces. Being the feces of “living stock” it is typically collected from the “stock pens” at regular intervals. So if you think about it this is not totally unlike milking a cow, you pen the animal up and collect what you want from it when you want to and leave it in there the rest of the time just eating and shitting all over its space. Of course the thing is that no one wants to make shit a focal point of their cause right? I think that a lot of people imagine animals out in the field happily shitting all over the place “like animals” and then some bothered worker goes around the farmland scooping poop not unlike what people do for the dogs in their yard. But while there is certainly feed lot collection the majority of it is collected from traditional barns and modern “confinement buildings” which have now outpaced barns as the location for most live stock. Well that was quite a digression from the original question about cake but my point is that your beloved “organic” foods made with only natural methods rely heavily on manure for crop fertilization and if confining an animal in such a way that it has to live on top of its shit isn’t cruelty I don’t know what is.

Q:”When does it start snowing in Philadelphia” A: Assuming that we are talking about Philadelphia Pennsylvania in the United States of America, being in the northern hemisphere (and at that rate being somewhat in the north eastern area of the united states winter officially starts in december. So it can technically already be snowing in “Philly” when the year starts on January 1st  though allegedly in recent years snow doesn’t start until later in januaray. To my knowledge it is only during the summer months when it will never snow in Philadelphia (this holds true of many US states). So after weather warms past the point of freezing at night (in some parts of the US this year it continued to snow instead of rain at night well into april) in the spring the earliest it is likely to snow in the fall seems to be november in recent years. I don’t live there myself so I could be off with this.

Q:”what kinds of things do women do sexually to a man’s scrotum?” A: For those who don’t know the scrotum is the sack like protrusion of skin below the penis which houses the testicles, hence its slang name “ball sack” or just “sack”. Typical sex acts include fondling, holding, squeezing, licking, and insertion into the mouth followed by sucking all done lightly because of the extreme pain sensitivity of the testicles. Occasionally a woman will attempt to insert either the entire scrotum with both testicles or part of it with just one testicle into either her vagina or anus but this is pretty awkward and I consider it a novelty act. Less typical sex acts (more for the sexual satisfaction of the sadistic woman), follow ing BDSM ranges of sexual torture include  binding, clamping, flogging, piercing, icing, heating, singing, burning, cutting, and severing. It is important to note that it is possible and not especially difficult to eventually damage the testicles to the point where it becomes extremely difficult for a man to impregnate a woman  due to low sperm production and so caution must be taken if this is not a desirable outcome. A similar caution is that testicular damage is not a reliable method of birth control although castration (the surgical procedure called a vasectomy being the accepted and reasonably safe modern method) is. Conversely of these methods only the first ones I mentioned are likely to be considered acceptable and pleasurable to men who aren’t masochists.

Q: “what does nekketsu mean in the SRW games?” A: “nekketsu” 熱血 is a “seishin” 精神 command available to some pilots and sub-pilots in the Super Robot Wars series of japanese video games. As to what nekketsu means, an english translation might be “zeal” but you will typically see it referred to as “hot blooded” because that is what those two kanji mean individually. Seishin by the way means “mind” in the sense of “spirit” and could be used as a term for will. Supposedly the idea behind the seishin commands which function much like support spells (the majority of which being self-afflicting) in other RPGs is that the pilots, who are mostly exceptional characters, are exerting their will on the battle. So in this case the likes of Amuro Rey from Gundam might get fired up when he’s battling his sworn enemy Char Aznable and unleash an especilaly damaging attack. various seishin might be approximations of piloting techniques or mechanical abilities but I’ll leave that to your imagination. As of the most recent traditional SRW game (OG gaiden as opposed to OG saga) I belive there are something like over 40 distinct seishin commands which have been used over the years in the games. As to what the newest one is, I’d say it would be one of the twin formation only seishin like the one that synchronizes the stats of the two who join together to their highest value, the oldest one would probably be ひらめき (flash) or 集中 (concentration).

Q:”how do you write a split perspective story” A: the simplest way would be to write a story directly from the protagonist’s perspective and then copy the story but replacing it with the perspective of a secondary character who witnessed the same events. Alternately you can write two or more shorter stories and alternate chapters of each within the same book. For the most part that isn’t going to help you write a good story but that really seems to be what most people do. The thing to note about a split perspective story is that you don’t have to repeat the same things for each perspective, but you can. A non-traditional way to write such a story would be from multiple perspectives within the same event in the same chapter but this could quickly get muddled. I will recommend once again that you just write a normal story since for the most part splitting the perspective dilutes the story and retards the pace. Then again if you need to do that then by all means.

Q: “is the “his dark materials” series of novels deistic?” A: People have stated as such, or if you prefer made that accusation. I think that a lot of terms like that get confused and misused though. Like is it still deism if you think that god exists, took an active hand in the world, and then forgot about it and took an active hand elsewhere? I would personally describe the book as encouraging self-determination regardless of what any entity or organization has done in the past or mandates doing. If you want to consider that deistic or anti-religious then that is your business. I will say that the book is likely to offend self-righteous people of any persuasion though.

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Staring through the window of someone’s house while eating Royal Edinburgh shortbread that I got from someone Friday, Jun 20 2008

Updating on my personal testing saga things are still in limbo. At least I haven’t lost yet. In other news I said I was learning “advanced mathematics” but that just goes to show how little I knew about math. The reality is something like “pre-intro to intro of advanced math”. So at this rate I will actually be using advanced math in 5 years. I wonder what the oldest age a person ever learned calculus at was? Perhaps more curious would be the oldest age a person learned what a negative number was. I bet it would be older. I’d bet a lot of money on that.

So Royal Edinburgh shortbread. It’s not great, smells a little too much like cheese for my tastes, but it’s not worse than Walkers brand; the other more famous Scottish shortbread with similarly Tartan themed packaging that feeds into the stereotype that all of Scotland is “plaid”.

It has been brought to my attention that I am not prolific about my views on prostitution. So I have decided to share a few thoughts in what might as well have still been this paragraph.

For the purposes of this discussion let us define prostitution as committing a sex act in exchange for recompense (ie: sex to get something). The sex act does not necessarily have to be committed on or in the presence of someone and the recompense does not necessarily have to be material. By this definition the majority of the world has engaged in prostitution, quite likely unkowingly, depending on your definition of a sex act.

Think for a minute on children and some of the things they do to amuse people. They will often do things which would be considered lewd, inappropriate, and possibly sexual if done by an adult. For example a child running around naked in a shop because they’re tired of trying on clothes. If this is a niece of yours it might be endearing in a way as long as you aren’t the one chasing after them to get them to put something on. On the other hand if a 20 year old woman does it I’m pretty sure it’s a crime in most countries of the world. If you’ve ever been around a little boy that realizes that playing with their penis is fun you might find them tugging away at it to raucous laughter in front of a crowd of relatives. Unfortunately males don’t grow out of that habit though they do become a little more discreet about it but fortunately it really is pretty amusing regardless of the age. But if you see a 30 year old man who says “look what I can do!” and starts tugging away you’re likely to call the police.

Those are likely examples that make people uncomfortable but that’s (what? double standards?) my point. If your boyfriend is hemming and hawwing about the price of the engagement ring you want and you say “but honey I’ll make it worth your while” so he buys it and you bang later on then you have in fact just engaged in prostitution. People always like to condemn things, not just people or behaviors but anything. It makes them feel superior. Conversely condemning themselves or things they associate with themselves like friends and family will typically make them feel bad.

If you see a heavily made up young woman wearing a sequined short skirt and hanging around on the street corner she is a dirty no good whore. On the other hand your associate who “accidentally” bumps chest first into a client at a business lunch, treating them to an eye full while apologizing profusely is savvy and aggressive.

So the next time you end an argument through seduction, the next time you soothe with sex, just remember that you’re prostituting yourself. Don’t worry though, we all whore out every once in a while, there’s no getting by without it.

For some reason I’m inspired to mention something that happened today. The most “aryan” looking girl you can imagine (perhaps slimmer and with slightly smaller breasts than what you’re thinking of) asked me in such a disarmingly guileless way about the tattoo on my left arm that I gave a harmless answer rather than shock her with the whole of it. Probably I would have been within my rights for carrying such a stigma to get into it with her about it, or not answer her, or refuse to talk about it. But I did it and she gave me her name which seemed Irish to me so perhaps she wasn’t even german at all. I’m not sure if all of that is progress or tragedy frankly but I guess it’s not surprising either way. Time marches on leaving the past behind after all.

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Akamachu Thursday, Jun 19 2008

To this point in the year 魔法先生ネギマ Mahou Sensei Negima has averaged less than 3 chapters a month. Already after the 217th chapter (which is either only the 17th or 18th of the year I don’t remember) it says there won’t be another one until the 3rd of July, two weeks from now. This is just abysmal.

In the past I’ve speculated that Akamatsu is stretched too thin because of all the Negi goods and the second manga series which he presumably at least consults on but now it occurs to me that he might have become disaffected from the work now that it has been dragging its heels for quite too long. I would speculate that the main problem with the work is that there are too many characters and the story has gotten dispersed, which has had the result of making any given storyline take exponentially more time to complete. For example during the present “magical world” story arc you will get 1-3 Negi centric chapters and then the focus will divert either to a summary of what the other characters are up to or 1-3 chapters about another character. Most recently there was a little Yue story arc before going back to Negi and the story finally seems to have come to a point where all the characters are at least in the same area even if they aren’t all together.

This tends to be the flaw of multi-perspective stories with large casts. I think that multi-perspective stories work best when split between two antagonistic points of view because it balances the story out a bit more. However I think that a single perspective story with minimal exposition lets one “get into” the story more. You know what the protagonist knows, you see what the protagonist sees, what happens to the protagonist you experience, and then like the protagonist you are forced to draw conclusions from that.

Using Negima for an example, we could sympathize more with Negi’s extreme stress at being separated from his (he thinks) defenseless and resourceless comrades and students if we weren’t made aware of exactly what was happening to most of them and that they were fine. This is of course a shounen manga so its not like any of them are going to get killed off either. There’s not even really any tension associated with the 3 who got “enslaved” as seemingly the worst that happens to them is having to wear maid outfits which aren’t really any worse than their usual school outfits and clean up.

Well this is just manga after all, it’s probably unrealistic to expect a find understanding of drama from someone who constantly makes panty jokes about underaged girls… Yes the only reason I’m still reading Negima is because I’ve read this much of it. Actually I think it’s the only manga I read on a regular basis now, this year, just as Geass R2 is the only anime I watch regularly this season.

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As to what happened or why you are better off using your money on prostitutes than paying taxes Thursday, Jun 19 2008

In my last post I alluded to miraculously (though of course intentionally) doing perfect on a test only to have my score reduced to 0 in what I had assumed was a bureaucratic mix up. In that short time and relying upon unnamed resources I have discovered what actually happened. To properly describe this comedy/tragedy will require some back story so bear with me.

I am taking a math class at what you could call a “jr. college” in american english. Due to various issues I have I was eligible to receive accommodations which included having extra time to take tests. For the most part the accommodations I receive are of dubious usefulness but considering that the result of my issues is more or less writing very slowly and that test results account for something like 90% of the grade this is pretty nice. However as a result of this rather than taking the test in class I have to take my tests in the school’s “testing center” which is used for a variety of things and has absurd security measures.

First of all you tell the administrator your class, teacher, and name which is proven redundant when you are forced to let them examine your ID and enter your student number on a keypad that has no display. Why you have to do both of those things also seems strange, if you have to give them your ID to prove your identity that should be enough. Let me also say that you are not forced to prove your identity at any other time such as class enrollment, advising, payment, or classes so there’s nothing to stop you from sending a proxy even if you have to take your own tests. Why you would do that I have no idea but I’m sure that others have at least attempted it.

So while the clowns were juggling these things I was forced to stand around for about 5 minutes while they decided whether or not I was allowed to use my own pencil before taking the test. Which I did at a glass topped “desk” that has a computer monitor underneath it where your legs should go at an angle which makes it impossible to be seen by anyone other than the person sitting at the desk, and which also makes it impossible for the person sitting there to get comfortable as they can’t get close enough to the desk to do use it as a normal desk. In spite of that I took the test, and I was very confident because I checked my answers and they were right (the good thing about math is being able to do that), and then I had to hand it in. Including my spare work paper, even the page I didn’t mark at all which they also dispose of because heaven forbid you copy the test onto that somehow (dipping your pencil into diluted lemon water that you have in a bottle?) so that the next person can make use of it. Anyway that was fine but then here was the problem, after handing in the test they made me put my student number in again on the keypad. They did not say a single thing to me, took my test, and wished me good day.

I have now found out that I hit the 3 key along with the 2 key without realizing it because I have issues with my hands, thus giving a totally wrong number which somehow invalidates the whole thing. This would not have happened if they had let me confirm my number or if the number was displayed to me somehow before confirming it but they do not do that and you are forced to trust that your hands were sure.

I plan to appeal this gross injustice and will probably be successful in either validating the test I took or being allowed to take a makeup of some sort. If not then I will file suit against them, probably win, and drain the public coffers exponentially not only by my settlement but because such a settlement would force firings, hirings and trainings, and reviews of procedure. For those not familiar with such things a variety of questionable and tragically overpaid independent special consultants will be called in to give opinions, which will be totally ignored by the bureaucrats that couldn’t tell you something as simple as the difference between the formulas for area and volume of a parallelogram (l*w=a squared; l*w*h=v cubed) who get to make the final decision on things. And some even worse new system will be implemented (finger print scanning maybe) instead of simply finding a way to improve the present system that will cost obscene amounts of money to implement. And of course the public will pick up the bill.

Well let us just hope it does not come to that. I would really prefer to just be able to finish my math class with the grade I deserve rather than get a worthless pile of money. But that’s just me eh?

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