Like a story about a ghost detective Thursday, Sep 4 2008

Actually I would not be opposed to reading a story about a ghost detective right now. Maybe I could make a seemingly innocuous religiously subversive children’s story. Maybe I should stop sharing my most potentially lucrative ideas. I think it tells you something about the obscurity of my ideas if that is what I consider to be one that has the most mainstream appeal. I also came up with a moderately good idea for a website that in fact could make me a small sum of money. Perhaps I should act on this? Perhaps I should not try and make money off of it. Hmm… Well we shall see. I could use some money to be sure. There is not necessarily anything to stop me from just doing it from this blog other than how it would be stifled. Oh well right?

So anyway back to me not knowing how to start paragraphs or sentences properly. I was recently contacted for the first time in many years by someone who was once very dear to my heart. I wish that I could say this person still is but time erases such bonds, there is certainly a chance to reconnect though. I need to eat and have a stupid errand to run, I wanted to see nobody Mardy Fish (well he did win a Masters years ago) beat Nadal at the US Open. I want to see Sarah Palin vanish from the news as soon as possible but the whole thing is pretty juicy, better than a lot of fiction I’ve read honestly. Poor America. I didn’t say it after 9/11, through Afghanistan and Iraq^2 or hurricaneX but I am saying it now after this VP candidate popped out. Americans are so fucked, they are downright reamed.

Back to this friend though. We once made what I would have called a promise that has been referred to by other terms which are not necessarily all positive. It seems like this is still alive. I am not disappointed by this. I never forgot this person and I guess that I myself was never forgotten. Maybe that was not any good for either of us but I think that it is nice and it means a lot to me. I’m not sure what it means for my life at this point though. Is it too late to change things? Should I abandon my current course or stay with it? I have some choices to make. In the meantime though I already seem to be in over my head with math and it’s only perhaps the middle of algebra. I can’t tell if my teacher was just bloated and wearing a puffy outfit or actually pregnant in spite of being what I would consider well past the right age. Life is mysterious though so anything is possible.

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On why it sucks to be a good friend but you should do it anyway Wednesday, Apr 9 2008

So recently I found out that someone I don’t really care for but am officially friends with is going through a personal crisis. I don’t feel any sympathy for this person whatsoever since it’s entirely their fault, I don’t like them, they’re always mean to me, and the right answers are readily apparent but this person refuses to act properly. In other words I know a person who is a total train wreck that I’d just as soon leave to their own devices since I always get dragged into the misery even when it has nothing to do with me. It would possibly be better for me if one day I just said “enough is enough”. In fact I had cut this person off before but of all things someone else reached out to me to reach out to that person and after some time here we are again. Needless to say I’m not happy about the situation.

But if I’m not there for this person then nobody will be. And that would be pretty sad. It would be this person’s “just deserts” and probably no matter what I do or don’t do the results will be the same anyway. I’m not going to say “if you’re not there for people then no one will be there for you” since it isn’t necessarily true and “one good turn doesn’t always get another” anyway, nor will I say that everyone deserves someone to be there for them since that’s not true either. No there are only a couple of reasons, often utilized by these sorts of parasites to gain sympathy and get what they want, and they are guilt and past regret. I would feel bad if I abandoned this person again, I regret not being a better friend for people in the past, I also wish that other people had been there for me when I needed them the most.

So I will go on in misery listening to the troubles of this person even though I know my advice will not be heeded. It’s not impossible that I’ll regret it more the closer I am to the situation although I will be unwilling to do much so at least I won’t get into trouble. hmph… this is why people only like to be good time friends, it’s always nice to have a friend when you’re in a bad time but it’s never fun to be that friend.

Well let me finish with these things to ponder. Whether or not another person can be held responsible for the actions of another is debatable. I know that there have been instances where in particular parents and other such figures are blamed for the actions of children and there is probably something to that. But I can’t say that it would be fair to blame a put-upon friend who had finally had enough for not dropping their life to try and help someone out, no matter what the consequences. However do you really want to be that person who wasn’t there?

Never mind I wasn’t finished after all. It’s really frustrating to continually see someone make horrid and irresponsible choices with their life. It’s even worse when those choices are made based on impulses and minimal factors. I really wish that people would consider things more carefully. Granted, when you consider all things carefully like I do you hardly ever get anything done even if you don’t make grave mistakes. But really people like the ones I’m talking about never get anything done either, they just get into more and more trouble. Actually I’m going to go ahead and blame this person’s parents for doing a shitty job. I’ve certainly tried to do my best as a friend. Maybe I should have used “reverse psychology” or cajoled this person a little more instead of constantly giving lectures and instructions. But I’m not a skilled counselor, I’m not that subtle, I even tried to recommend that this person get professional counseling but they never saw it through. It really feels like a knife in the stomach when a person does everything that you tell them not to and it all blows up just as you knew it would.

And once again this person isn’t going to do what’s best and it’s only going to cause an endless amount of pain for everyone involved. But all I can do is watch and listen as this goes on, opening my mouth and knowing full well that my words won’t be heeded.

My final words related to this are that sometimes you have to do things that really hurt. People are inclined to try and do things with as little pain as possible, but if you live your whole life avoiding pain you’ll often only end out in even more painful situations eventually. I can think of a poignant example but I’ll save it for another time. Also most people just shouldn’t have children. Seriously something like 90% of the people that have children shouldn’t do it if not more. It’s ironic but there are a lot of people who choose not to have children for all kinds of reasons that would probably be better parents than especially those who don’t make a choice on the matter and just do it. But ironically I think that the people who end out with the worst results are those who really really really want kids, the ones that actually like kids, being around them, don’t mind taking care of them. These people often have little discipline themselves and then don’t instill the value of discipline (I’m not talking about punishment, I’m talking about doing things you don’t want to when they need to get done) in their children and the results are just…. shit… Practice safe sex kids, or go gay, it’s the only way to be sure and still have fun.

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