So recently I found out that someone I don’t really care for but am officially friends with is going through a personal crisis. I don’t feel any sympathy for this person whatsoever since it’s entirely their fault, I don’t like them, they’re always mean to me, and the right answers are readily apparent but this person refuses to act properly. In other words I know a person who is a total train wreck that I’d just as soon leave to their own devices since I always get dragged into the misery even when it has nothing to do with me. It would possibly be better for me if one day I just said “enough is enough”. In fact I had cut this person off before but of all things someone else reached out to me to reach out to that person and after some time here we are again. Needless to say I’m not happy about the situation.

But if I’m not there for this person then nobody will be. And that would be pretty sad. It would be this person’s “just deserts” and probably no matter what I do or don’t do the results will be the same anyway. I’m not going to say “if you’re not there for people then no one will be there for you” since it isn’t necessarily true and “one good turn doesn’t always get another” anyway, nor will I say that everyone deserves someone to be there for them since that’s not true either. No there are only a couple of reasons, often utilized by these sorts of parasites to gain sympathy and get what they want, and they are guilt and past regret. I would feel bad if I abandoned this person again, I regret not being a better friend for people in the past, I also wish that other people had been there for me when I needed them the most.

So I will go on in misery listening to the troubles of this person even though I know my advice will not be heeded. It’s not impossible that I’ll regret it more the closer I am to the situation although I will be unwilling to do much so at least I won’t get into trouble. hmph… this is why people only like to be good time friends, it’s always nice to have a friend when you’re in a bad time but it’s never fun to be that friend.

Well let me finish with these things to ponder. Whether or not another person can be held responsible for the actions of another is debatable. I know that there have been instances where in particular parents and other such figures are blamed for the actions of children and there is probably something to that. But I can’t say that it would be fair to blame a put-upon friend who had finally had enough for not dropping their life to try and help someone out, no matter what the consequences. However do you really want to be that person who wasn’t there?

Never mind I wasn’t finished after all. It’s really frustrating to continually see someone make horrid and irresponsible choices with their life. It’s even worse when those choices are made based on impulses and minimal factors. I really wish that people would consider things more carefully. Granted, when you consider all things carefully like I do you hardly ever get anything done even if you don’t make grave mistakes. But really people like the ones I’m talking about never get anything done either, they just get into more and more trouble. Actually I’m going to go ahead and blame this person’s parents for doing a shitty job. I’ve certainly tried to do my best as a friend. Maybe I should have used “reverse psychology” or cajoled this person a little more instead of constantly giving lectures and instructions. But I’m not a skilled counselor, I’m not that subtle, I even tried to recommend that this person get professional counseling but they never saw it through. It really feels like a knife in the stomach when a person does everything that you tell them not to and it all blows up just as you knew it would.

And once again this person isn’t going to do what’s best and it’s only going to cause an endless amount of pain for everyone involved. But all I can do is watch and listen as this goes on, opening my mouth and knowing full well that my words won’t be heeded.

My final words related to this are that sometimes you have to do things that really hurt. People are inclined to try and do things with as little pain as possible, but if you live your whole life avoiding pain you’ll often only end out in even more painful situations eventually. I can think of a poignant example but I’ll save it for another time. Also most people just shouldn’t have children. Seriously something like 90% of the people that have children shouldn’t do it if not more. It’s ironic but there are a lot of people who choose not to have children for all kinds of reasons that would probably be better parents than especially those who don’t make a choice on the matter and just do it. But ironically I think that the people who end out with the worst results are those who really really really want kids, the ones that actually like kids, being around them, don’t mind taking care of them. These people often have little discipline themselves and then don’t instill the value of discipline (I’m not talking about punishment, I’m talking about doing things you don’t want to when they need to get done) in their children and the results are just…. shit… Practice safe sex kids, or go gay, it’s the only way to be sure and still have fun.