Updating on my personal testing saga things are still in limbo. At least I haven’t lost yet. In other news I said I was learning “advanced mathematics” but that just goes to show how little I knew about math. The reality is something like “pre-intro to intro of advanced math”. So at this rate I will actually be using advanced math in 5 years. I wonder what the oldest age a person ever learned calculus at was? Perhaps more curious would be the oldest age a person learned what a negative number was. I bet it would be older. I’d bet a lot of money on that.

So Royal Edinburgh shortbread. It’s not great, smells a little too much like cheese for my tastes, but it’s not worse than Walkers brand; the other more famous Scottish shortbread with similarly Tartan themed packaging that feeds into the stereotype that all of Scotland is “plaid”.

It has been brought to my attention that I am not prolific about my views on prostitution. So I have decided to share a few thoughts in what might as well have still been this paragraph.

For the purposes of this discussion let us define prostitution as committing a sex act in exchange for recompense (ie: sex to get something). The sex act does not necessarily have to be committed on or in the presence of someone and the recompense does not necessarily have to be material. By this definition the majority of the world has engaged in prostitution, quite likely unkowingly, depending on your definition of a sex act.

Think for a minute on children and some of the things they do to amuse people. They will often do things which would be considered lewd, inappropriate, and possibly sexual if done by an adult. For example a child running around naked in a shop because they’re tired of trying on clothes. If this is a niece of yours it might be endearing in a way as long as you aren’t the one chasing after them to get them to put something on. On the other hand if a 20 year old woman does it I’m pretty sure it’s a crime in most countries of the world. If you’ve ever been around a little boy that realizes that playing with their penis is fun you might find them tugging away at it to raucous laughter in front of a crowd of relatives. Unfortunately males don’t grow out of that habit though they do become a little more discreet about it but fortunately it really is pretty amusing regardless of the age. But if you see a 30 year old man who says “look what I can do!” and starts tugging away you’re likely to call the police.

Those are likely examples that make people uncomfortable but that’s (what? double standards?) my point. If your boyfriend is hemming and hawwing about the price of the engagement ring you want and you say “but honey I’ll make it worth your while” so he buys it and you bang later on then you have in fact just engaged in prostitution. People always like to condemn things, not just people or behaviors but anything. It makes them feel superior. Conversely condemning themselves or things they associate with themselves like friends and family will typically make them feel bad.

If you see a heavily made up young woman wearing a sequined short skirt and hanging around on the street corner she is a dirty no good whore. On the other hand your associate who “accidentally” bumps chest first into a client at a business lunch, treating them to an eye full while apologizing profusely is savvy and aggressive.

So the next time you end an argument through seduction, the next time you soothe with sex, just remember that you’re prostituting yourself. Don’t worry though, we all whore out every once in a while, there’s no getting by without it.

For some reason I’m inspired to mention something that happened today. The most “aryan” looking girl you can imagine (perhaps slimmer and with slightly smaller breasts than what you’re thinking of) asked me in such a disarmingly guileless way about the tattoo on my left arm that I gave a harmless answer rather than shock her with the whole of it. Probably I would have been within my rights for carrying such a stigma to get into it with her about it, or not answer her, or refuse to talk about it. But I did it and she gave me her name which seemed Irish to me so perhaps she wasn’t even german at all. I’m not sure if all of that is progress or tragedy frankly but I guess it’s not surprising either way. Time marches on leaving the past behind after all.