I think that my stupid computer is dying and I lack the funds to obtain a new one. Could there be a point to living without it?
Did you really not know that the UN and WHO were filled with out of touch morons? Thursday, Apr 30 2009
current events and mexico and pandemic and panic and porn and satire and swine flu current events, mexico, morons, pandemic, panic, politics, porn, satire, un, who 8:47 am
Is it just me or has the warning level on the “Mexican swine flu” increased each day this week? I know that every time the worthless WHO says something about it they are more and more dire. When it was 4 they said it was no big deal really, and all of a sudden pandemic is imminent. Fuck.
Well just in case I contract it and die, at least the only thing that was totally out of my control which I still wanted to see happen, happened. I still don’t think it’s my fate to fall to such, but who can say? I am after all infirm. I just hope that whether there’s a better world or not out there somewhere, there’s at least one I can get more enjoyment and fulfillment out of since I didn’t find much in this one.
So, I personally am not reacting to anything but how wishy-washy and annoying the news has been as the situation evolves. The only concern I have is that I might lose internet access and essential utilities if things go badly since that would hugely inconvenience me. In my situation I can’t do much about the utilities, but I will watch copious amounts of amateur pornography online while I still have the chance. I suggest you do the same.
The Promised Iranian Porn Tuesday, Oct 7 2008
porn and redtube and satire and women iranian, porn, redtube, satire, slutload, spankwire, youtube 5:48 am
I’m not sure why people are coming to my blog looking for this, possibly because I have a link to “the blog of an Iranian woman” and tags for “porn” and “redtube” so if someone is looking for “iranian porn on redtube” and for some bizarre reason doesn’t just want to search redtube then they would get to my site.
Now as you all know I strive to keep my readers happy and not disappoint on the grounds of a lack of absurdity. So I scoured the “youtube-like” porn sites I know and the only ones that came up with videos with “Iranian” in the title were spankwire.com and slutload.com. Don’t ask why I know of a site called slutload… If you type in “Iran” at various other sites you might get grab bags of allegedly middle-eastern women but I can’t begin to identify their country or region or ethnicity. Let me swear this to you: I might be able to tell the difference between Lebanese and German pussy but I can not tell the difference between Turkish and Iranian pussy.
And since I stopped paying attention to such things there are quite a few other porn video sites out there so just try your luck, it’s out there. Just not on redtube. or youporn. I wish I could remember the one that was like fhll.com or something though, I bet it would pretend like it had something too.
The best ways to win against a witch Monday, Oct 6 2008
cracked and observation and opinion and personal and philosophy and satire and witches life, observation, opinion, satire, witches, women's issues 10:48 am
I don’t know about you kids but personally I have lived a strange life. So saying I have known a few witches of all sorts (figurative, literal, speculative, self-professed, self-denied etc. etc.) and the best way to deal with a witch is to either not have anything to do with them at all or to be on their side. The chances of a witch being on the side you actually want to be on are even, but the chances that the witch will make your life a living hell if you go against her are 100%. Now some people are willing to live with that. They want to win or they want to stand up for something they believe in and they’re willing to put up with or try to neutralize that other side. I say good for them, enjoy your shitty life. For the rest of us who really don’t care that much about any given thing like the background color of the senior center events calendar, we’ll just go ahead and be on the side with the witch so that she is off our ass and on yours about wanting to go with yellow instead of sticking with white.
I just might be advocating selling out here but I assure you it’s entirely circumstantial. Possible exceptions are when you’re dealing with such big groups that there are probably an equal number of witches on both sides so that you can’t win no matter what, or just when your group is so big you won’t get singled out. But definitely on an individual basis, just go ahead and try to be on good terms with the witches in your life. Like the one that lives down the hall/street, the one at work, the one you’re related to, the one your son is engaged to (there’s still hope!), the one at the market that’s not even a block from where you live, the one who works in your doctor’s office, the receptionist at the dentist… I could go on.
But do you see my point? If you choose to fight against every single witch that’s in your life then all that awaits you are days filled with petty bickering, peeking around corners, long waits at the doctor’s office, inflated prices for kiwi, and yellow events calendars. So the next time somebody goes in ahead of you for an appointment even though they arrived after you, just stay in your seat and read another page. I know that every day could be the last, but that’s all the more reason to not waste your time complaining to someone that doesn’t even make 1/10 of the wage per hour of the person you are there to see. And after all, that article on pirate in the south-east asian sea was kind of interesting, wasn’t it?
I don’t know why I don’t know Thursday, Aug 28 2008
cracked and personal and philosophy and satire and sociopaths acting weird, satire, sociopaths 12:47 pm
I have been awake for a while now, since yesterday some time, and I am really not sure why. I just seem to not be asleep for some reason. I suppose this is the disadvantage of an unstructured, if not necessarily chaotic, lifestyle.
The thing that bothers me at the moment is that I have become distantly associated with the most ridiculous sociopath. I am apparently the only one that notices this artificial human, who can see through things. Which forces me to question whether or not it is just my imagination. But everything adds up in the end so it’s fine: this person is just an antisocial narcissist who annoys the hell out of me.
And actually I wouldn’t usually give a shit about anyone no matter how fucked up they are but for some reason observing this person interests, perhaps even amuses me. I feel extremely engaged to watch this pantomiming of humanity: the carefully placed hair, the overt attempts at correctness, the ever present inappropriate smirk, the predatory intelligence, the manipulation, the lies, the shallowness, the inconsistencies, the utter lack of empathy, and the absence of the social awareness that normal humans have that lets them fit in with others naturally that has been replaced by absolute self awareness. It is a thing to behold when a room of people chuckle as they take their pants off and tighten their belts across their own necks and wait for what comes next.
So I am bothered by this. I have various options to choose from in handling this situation. My choice is to make some records and run like hell. I do not think this person has killed anyone yet, not that killing makes you a sociopath or that you have to be one to kill, but I would not bet against it and I do not believe for a moment that murders aren’t imminent. So, even though I am not totally opposed to dying (just about 87%) I do not want this person to be the one that kills me. And at that rate I do not really want to die in order to gratify someone else if I can help it. I sometimes think about dying to gratify my own self but that is a queer notion.
So once again I will say that if you are a sociopath you should just do the rest of us a favor and go off and die. Maybe join the military, what the hell. If you know a sociopath then sit back and watch the show. Just remember not to ingest anything they prepare, spend time alone with them, let them get behind you, or leave open food or drink containers unattended. You really never know what might happen otherwise, don’t tempt fate I always say, right?
I went back to the convention but my Party Was Gone Saturday, Aug 23 2008
absurdity and current events and games and observation and opinion and otaku and USA and women and youtube えいりん、touhou, clintons, current events, democrats, fate, karma, mccain, obama, philosophy, satire, us presidential race, youtube 7:23 am
Assuming that so-called rumors are correct and Hillary Clinton has been passed up by Barack Obama as vice president in favor of good old Joe Biden, then… what? Women have taken a huge step back in american if not world politics? Well I can honestly say that I’m not surprised as the two beat the hell out of each other in their primary race and having two of the most hated groups in america (blacks and women) on the same ticket was asking for failure. As it is… actually I was more curious who John McCain was going to run with personally, I’m almost positive that he’ll pick a man since obama has, if obama had gone with hillary a woman VP might have been possible for the GOP candidate [edit: for some reason I thought I had said the opposite thing here, in any case mccain decided to roll the dice and go with a woman] . If he picks Mitt Romney then they’ll be smitten by otherwise apathetic anti-mormons (nobody respects mormons, nobody), mark my words. Anyway the stage is now set in america for the absolutely most bitter mood following the election in november. White people will be mad, women will be mad, one party or the other will be mad, the silent majority who didn’t vote but doesn’t like who got elected will be mad. Yeah.
Saying that was just an excuse to mention that I wondered earlier if Fate precludes Karma. That is, if all is fated to happen a certain way then why bother with karma? Or is it the other way around, that karma results in a cycle that ends out being like predestination. I am not sure. But it does seem to me that you can have one lead to another but that you can’t have both independently. That is to say you can’t have everything be fated to go one way and then have karma make things go another way. Or vice-versa “oh he killed himself so he’ll be a worm next time? well too bad he was going to be the Antichrist”. This of course is one of those things beyond philosophy and theology where you just wish you knew how things really worked. I guess that I believe in predestination as well as apocalypse and that’s why I eat a different animal every day and sin like it’s going out of style while encouraging others to be assholes. Life just isn’t worth it unless you cut loose sometimes. Now perhaps karma will come and get me if it hasn’t already but shit who cares anyway.
Now that I think about I started thinking about it because I was wondering if the reason I haven’t gotten something in the mail that I was waiting for is because I threw away a convention notification card of my neighbor’s that got put into my mail box a while back. I don’t strictly need to get my piece of mail though so even if that’s the case it’s no big deal. Remember kids: if you’re on top of things then you are going to be prepared for the failings of others, including incompetence and sabotage.
And Hillary if you’re out there, or just you democratic women who are looking for a little comfort in your dark time (oh my god america is so fucked, they can not win no matter who they have as president) then please click on this
desires most black Friday, May 16 2008
cracked and games and gaming and nintendo ds and observation and opinion and satire and speculation and technology and thoughts games, gaming, nintendo ds, opinion, rants, satire, technology, thoughts, tv 5:14 am
Well as the comment on my most recent post points out, the japanese word for gold is kin and gin means silver. This is a mistake I constantly make when romanizing, I can actually tell the difference between the kanji. Although if I’m not mistaken the kanji for gin is made up of the kanji used for kin and something else (the kanji ryo?) so it’s just confusing either way. For the record I meant to entitle it “kin for the win” and had I not included the translation note no one would have ever noticed I messed up since gin is a shougi piece as well so if I ever looked back I’d have though I meant to do it all along. I’m not quite sure what to say about that so I won’t say anything.
Recently while aimlessly watching tv as people are prone to do I happened to catch the start of a certain movie. The only thing that was remarkable about this was that they waited about a half hour before going to commercial break for the first time. Frankly it was pretty difficult to abandon the channel during the break after hanging on for that long. I did anyway of course but it got me to thinking: who the hell realized that was a good idea? I guess I’m not sure that it is, I still didn’t watch the commercials after all, but it was a lot better than the usual break every 10-15 minutes during a movie; which is the main reason I don’t bother watching movies on tv most of the time. Anyway that’s just something to pay attention to. You might not have realized it but tv shows are actually shorter now than they used to be in the (distant enough) past to some extent. The difference is more apparent among hour long programming than half hour programming, a lot of shows used to be upwards of 50 minutes and are now less than 45. I think half hour programming has only gone from 25 to 22 or so. This is part of the reason why a lot of the older shows aren’t in syndication anymore, demand is of course another reason but that’s another story. So that’s just something to think about.
Another thing I was thinking about is that it’s not like developers didn’t make split screened content in games until Nintendo put out their dual screened Nintendo DS. A lot of the games on the system typically use the off screen to show either a/the map, some kind of status screen or menu, or a dialog box. All things that you can find in regular console games. If there’s a difference it’s that you’ve always got two screens with the DS but a regular game screen might only ever show one thing at a time. In the end of course people can only spread their attention out so much so to have you try and play on two screens at once would be beyond most people. There is something to be said of the stylus letting you select exactly what you want to without having to cycle through things like with a game controller, or drag the cursor like with a mouse, but that isn’t necessarily something that required two screens either. I imagine that you can do similar things with the Wii and its remote on a tv screen. Did they come out with those retinal sensors for computers yet? I’m pretty sure they have motion detectors for you to do stuff with your hands but I think they still work like a typical mouse. I’ve never really seen one in use. It might be worth looking into.
As to what the thing I’m most interested in right now would be, probably not dying from what could be a pandemic. They’re pretty quick to declare “possible pandemic” these days but after evading genocide from way back when until now I’d just as soon not get wiped out en masse in the end anyway. I don’t necessarily have a problem with dying from a disease, it’s not ideal but it’s a death, but I’ve always been the type to prefer not to do what everyone else is doing if given the choice. Not that a pandemic is the same as a fad. Probably. I suspect that people that get the same diseases are broadly doing the same things. Like breathing and drinking water. Or more cynically drinking alcohol and smoking cigarettes. If you drink and smoke and then get cancer then you probably deserve it. Yeah, I went there.
god damned holidays Friday, Apr 25 2008
alcohol and drinks and food and japanese beer, golden week, heineken, satire 10:20 pm
Of course I’d choose the last week day before Golden Week to order a bunch of stuff from Japan. I don’t really understand how everyone in a whole country as industrialized as Japan can take a week off but you’d think that mail order companies wouldn’t even want to. Well of course I forgot about Golden Week or I wouldn’t have ordered the goods directly from a japanese company. Anyway if memory serves it’s a week in which there are 4 japanese holidays one of (the first one?) which commemorates the previous emperor or something but because 4 is an unlucky number and any day that falls between two holidays is officially a holiday (in other words if monday and wednesday are a holiday then tuesday has to be one as well) the whole week is designated a holiday. Maybe. As a person who doesn’t even celebrate their own birthday (I do celebrate the national holiday as a matter of principal though) it’s absolutely a concept I can’t grasp. I guess people just look for any excuse to get out of work even if it means that they won’t get paid. And of those who don’t have to work, any excuse to party or just get intoxicated. I don’t think people need an excuse to drink though, they just prefer to have one so they don’t look as bad.
Speaking of drinking, somehow up to this point in my life I had never tried a Heineken beer. It’s true that I don’t like beer, at all, even though it’s the thing I drink the most among alcoholic beverages (following which would be wine, brandy, gin, rum, vodka, bourbon, whiskey), but it’s pretty prevalent so you’d think that I’d have had it incidentally at one point or another. As you might imagine it turns out that I wasn’t missing anything. I have known the odor of beer to be referred to as “skunky” before but never has it been so literal. After popping the cap the odor that assailed me was as sudden as a punch to the face. It tastes better than it smells but the bar isn’t set very high as far as that goes. I actually have to wonder if it isn’t perhaps something about the Dutch water which leads to the smell but I suppose the poor taste is a result of being rather plain and cheap beer. I’ve said it before but almost any other type of beverage can taste a lot better than beer for less money, notably soda I suppose. Probably the only redeeming quality of Heineken is the attractive design, the pretty green of the bottles, the distinctive red star which always reminds me of communist russia. To become the largest single line of beer based solely upon that is pretty ridiculous but after tasting it for myself that’s the only thing I can imagine to explain the popularity. I don’t personally have a favorite type of beer, I usually just drink whatever is available at the time or cheapest or both, which for some reason ends out being local “microbrews” more often than not. I swear to god that they produce alcohol in every last corner of the world and if you don’t care about pretense it’s one of the easiest things to get a hold of. I actually think that in some places it’s easier to find beer than safe water.
Well just to compare Heineken to another well known European beer, Stella Artois is better. I don’t think that it’s anything special either but it’s superior in just about every way (it might cost more, I don’t remember, and the design is poor which is about the least relevant thing ever) to Heineken. Notably with the absence of the horrible odor and the bitter lingering aftertaste Stella Artois is the clear winner. Just to mention it like all other things (notably motor vehicles) I boycott german alcohol as well. Supposedly Germany produces the best beer but I’m really not the one who can tell you. I can say that repute more often breeds acclaim than merit and this tends to blindingly true in so many facets of alcohol. Like really old wines and whiskeys, do you really want to drink something that’s sat around for 20-100 years in a musty cellar? I certainly don’t. If you want wine that tastes better then just mix some grape juice into it, if you drink whiskey on the rocks or in cola you can’t even make out the taste anyway. Just get over it and start living in this millennium. That’s what I’d like to say to the connaisseurs of the world. Don’t even get me started on composers!
Anyway the moral of today’s story is that the japanese have to take a week off every year so that they won’t kill themselves from work related stress and instead will kill their unemployed 20 something virgin children who refuse to leave the house. The message though is that Heineken really sucks, even for beer. Actually now that I think about it, heineken kind of smells like really bad weed. Maybe that’s not a coincidence…
The Sky Before Dawn 